Entertaining Ways to Torture Your Apartment Neighbors

So your neighbor kept you awake all night because of their big, blaring loud party.  It's not so much you didn't get any sleep, but hey, they didn't even invite you.  Maybe you want to get a little revenge for that.  Perhaps you live next to a really nosy neighbor.  Every time you walk out your apartment door you are ambushed with questions, complaints, etc.  You need to get this person back. 

I am not saying you should be mean.  Of course not!  But you should have a little fun.  I have some suggestions on how to torture your neighbors in the most entertaining ways possible.  Fun times, my friends, fun times.

• Do you have that Vanilla Ice CD from the early '90s? Of course you do. I know you won't admit it, but it is somewhere in that apartment. Take it out and start blasting Ice Ice Baby. You need to play it at least 10 times. If possible, break out some of those old dance moves you haven't had a chance to perform in a while. That will add a little something special to the experience.
• Get a CD with barking dogs on it. Play the CD on a regular basis near the door. Whenever you leave the apartment, the nosy neighbor will ask where you are keeping all those dogs. You can then simply state, "Dogs? What dogs? You must be hearing things."
• Pretend you have a roommate. Everytime you talk to the nosy neighbor or an annoying neighbor, refer to your roommate. You can even give him a great name like Sir Bernard or something. When your neighbor admits they've never seen Sir Bernard, tell them it's because you keep him locked in the closet. That one will keep them guessing. Better yet, tell them he is standing right beside you and ask if they see him.
• Do you have a real dog or a cat in your apartment? Trust me, that is annoying enough. You won't even have to do anything else. The smell and noises will torture everyone on your floor and potentially the floor below.
• Do you burn your food a lot? If so, open your door. Why not share the burning odor with everyone? Also, if your fire alarm goes off, that is just going to turn up the torture a notch. If you set off the fire alarm for the entire hallway, even better. If you set off the firm alarm for the whole building, this is an epic prank, but you are probably the most obnoxious neighbor ever.
• Set your alarm clock to go off at times when you are not even in the apartment. Crank it up so everyone can enjoy it. By the time you get home, you may just find a really "colorful" note on your door.
• Does your apartment have a pool? Excellent. Make sure to take a boom box from back in the day, and bring it to the pool. Play some old school music and start asking people if they would like to have a dance battle. Are you overweight? Even better. Wear the skimpiest bathing suit you have the nerve to put on. Nothing is creepier than a person wearing barely any clothes challenging you to a dance battle by the pool.
• Build furniture all night long. Seriously, I have heard this before in my apartment building. What is going on? Are people building shelving units or kitchen tables to sell on Craigslist or something?
• Knock on your neighbors' doors to borrow random things. Ask if you can borrow a spatula, but it has to be a gray one. Ask if you can borrow a bathroom scale and when they hand it to you, sit it down in the hallway, hop on, and say, "Thought so." Then just hand it back and don't say another word.
• Use all the hot water. This is a super annoying torture strategy. You must really hate your neighbors to try this and you probably hate the environment to waste that much water.
• Have a rap battle on your balcony at 6 o'clock in the morning.  It helps if you and your friends are terrible rappers.  I am adding this since I heard this occur this morning.

I can't believe you are still reading this.  Obviously, you must be pretty bored.  Of course, I am pretty bored which is why I am writing this.  Nonetheless, I hope you've enjoyed this.  Hope you are having a great day and happy pranking.  Oh, and if you end up in jail, don't blame this hub.  Come on, dude.  You knew better than to listen to anything I said.