10 Signs You Are Living in a Haunted House

So you've moved into a new house and you thought all was going well. After all, the last place had rats. Nothing could be worse than rats, right? Wrong. You start hearing weird scratching on the walls. Geez, do you have more rats again? Did they come with you? How is this possible? Then, you start to notice objects moving on their own. You hear strange moaning sounds when you are home alone. You notice a man in a 1920's style outfit roaming around your livingroom. What is this? This is worse than rats! My friend, you have ghosts!

Now, you'd think the real estate agent could have been kind enough to give you a heads up on this one. Now what are you supposed to do? Up until now the only pests you were thinking about were rats, mice, roaches, and telemarketers. However, this ghost situation could be a bad deal. So how can you be sure you are living in a haunted house? What you should be looking for when pondering over your ghost dilemma? Let's learn to recognize the signs that you are living in a haunted house.

1. You hear a creepy chuckling sound in the basement, but there is no one there. When you get back upstairs, you find a clown doll sitting on your couch. You've seen the movie Poltergeist, right? This is a bad sign.
2. Your Aunt Marlene visits you for tea one day. Unfortunately, your Aunt Marlene has been dead for 10 years.
3. The dogs are going crazy barking at people that aren't there. However, your dogs normally just sleep all day, so perhaps this form of entertainment is not so bad after all.
4. You meet the new neighbors and although they seem friendly, the fact that you can see through them is a bit disconcerting.
5. Everytime you go to watch Basketball Wives on TV, the channels start to change on their own. You can never watch an entire episode. Yes, this is probably a sign you have a ghost, but at least it is a sign the ghost has good taste.
6. When you try to renovate the house, an unseen force continues to stop you. This is either the ghost preventing you from altering the house he loved or maybe it is the city trying to give you a hint you need a work permit.
7. There are always strange odors in the kitchen. You are starting to think someone or something is baking in the kitchen while you are not at home. You were going to call in a priest for an exorcism until you realized the ghost was a better cook than you. That cake the ghost left on the counter was to die for!
8. When you go into the bathroom, the words, "Get out! Get out!" are written on the mirror. It could always be worse. At least it didn't say, "Redrum!"
9. You've heard the last owner of the house was a serial killer. Some of the bodies were never found, but he admitted they could be in the backyard. You might just want to call in an expert now before digging for the pool.
10. Three words for you: Indian Burial Ground!

OK, so maybe these signs sound kind of bad, but there was a TV show called "Casper the Friendly Ghost" for a reason. Ghosts are not all bad. Sometimes they are just lonely and want to make new friends. Perhaps they really liked their old home, and hey, you must be living in a pretty nice place if the ghosts don't want to leave it.

Ghosts do not want to be exterminated like rats. Certainly they can be pests at time, but hey, they are way nicer than telemarketers anyday! Unless, of course, your house is being haunted by ghost telemarketers. In that case, call in someone immediately! You can't live in a haunted house like that!

Tune in next time for "How to Perform an Exorcism in Your Spare Time!"