Facebook Status Updates That Are Better Left Unsaid

In today's day and age, many social networking enthusiasts are happy to share information about themselves online. For that matter, one might argue they are too eager to share information online. On a daily basis, people tweet and post status updates on everything from being bored at work to the crazy night of drunken antics they had last night at the bar. It seems like nothing is private anymore.

Does your Grandma really need to know you threw up in the bushes last night after drinking a dozen beers? Do your co-workers need to know about the hot chick you met at the bar last night? Furthermore, do you need to share your frustrations you are having with a friend by posting a Facebook status update about it so everyone on your friend list can join the fight?

The answer to the questions are probably, "NO!" yet it doesn't seem to stop anyone. Reality TV and social networking sites have made "over sharing" the new trend. So while we are on the subject of over sharing on Facebook and other sites, such as Twitter or MySpace, why not have a little fun with a list of status updates that are simply better left unsaid?

• I am going on vacation from June 1st - 7th. I will be out of town and no one is staying at my place. My friend will be checking on things, so I will leave a key under the doormat. Woo-hoo! Vegas, here I come! The only thing I will miss is my huge, flat screen TV in the livingroom.
• I really wish this rash would clear up. I keep scratching, but it is in a really difficult spot to reach. Oh... my hand seems to be getting a rash, too.
• Buffy was so cute this morning. She was wrestling with Mittens over a ball of yarn. Buffy finally got tired of Mittens not allowing her to play, so she jumped over Mittens and clawed at the yarn until she got it. Then, Snowy came over and tried to trade her catnip for the yarn, but Buffy wouldn't let her. I will post a series of photos about this in a few minutes.
• My 2 year old just vomited all over me and the computer. Guess she is coming down with something. I am going to clean it up as soon as I'm through typing this.
• Got a lot of hot items on sale over at my place. The prices are low as long as you don't ask too many questions.
• So I am one week late. Now, my challenge is going to be determining the father if I am pregnant. I've managed to narrow it down to three guys: Brad, Ken, or Frank.
• Last night was the best night ever! I don't remember everything, but I do remember doing a bunch of shots, drinking one shot off some chick's stomach, and then slipping in someone's puke... maybe mine. I woke up on the floor sometime around 9 this morning.
• My boss is standing behind me right now. I would punch him in the face if I thought I wouldn't go to jail.
• Does anyone remember the name of that guy I slept with last night? I think he has my bra.
• Star Trek convention today at noon! Who's joining me? Then we can get together in my parents' basement for some Warhammer action.
• So, Becky has been totally getting on my nerves this week. Yes, YOU BECKY! You'd better watch your back if you know what's good for you. I know you have been talking behind my back. Say it to my face!
• Hey, had an awesome time talking to you know who about you know what at that place. Yeah.
• For all of my 621 closest friends, don't forget I am changing my phone number. My new number is 410-111-1111. Text me! Oh, and I live at 123 Carpenter Lane... you should visit me if you don't hear from me on the cell.
• Benny and I really cashed in the other night. Miller's Liquor Store down the street is easy to get into if you use the window around the back. It was on the news! We are famous!
• Sometimes I just don't feel pretty anymore! Not as many guys hit on me anymore! Am I pretty? Is my butt too big? Oh, I must be so ugly. :-(
• I just spent about $40,000 on a new car. I should have upgraded and spent a little more on a better stereo system, but I don't want to show off. That car is going to look great when I drive to Key West next week. Staying at a 5 star resort while there...
• Does anyone have a good zit popping technique? This one isn't on my face though.
• My neighbor is pretty hot. Anyone have any good binocular recommendations?
• My job is so boring! I haven't done any actual work in about 5 hours. I have been searching for new jobs online the last hour. Anyone know of any openings? I am a really hard worker.