Easy Ways to Scare Guys Away on a First Date

Dating can be such a pain. For women, we have to get our nails done, fix our hair, shave our legs, wear something cute, put on makeup, and then hope the guy will appreciate the hours of preparation that went into going on a date. Who needs all that anyway? Wouldn't it be easier just to scare off all those pesky guys that keep asking you out? Once again, I am here to help you.

Maybe dating itself is even OK for you, but you are sitting across from a total creep. He is chewing with his mouth open, he is telling you how Mother won't approve of you, and he has been flirting with the waitress. It looks like you are going to need to scare this guy off as quickly as possible. You never need to see him again. Check out this list of easy ways to scare guys away on a first date and you will be getting rid of dudes faster than you can say, "restraining order."

• If you can immediately tell you are not interested, yet you are forced to eat dinner with a guy, make sure to order something with beans or broccoli. If possible, try to get both. You will be full of gas in no time and ready to share the experience with him.
• Start talking about your pets as if they are your children. Explain how much you hate leaving them home alone and tell him they must come along on the next date.
• If you simply want to fail at dating for no real reason, make sure to stop bathing. That will do it.
• For a truly annoying date, start talking about your period. Make sure to get as descriptive as possible.
• Tell your date about the ghost that follows you everywhere. If you really want to take your story to the next level, ask for a chair for the ghost and mention how the ghost gets really jealous of every guy you date.
• Talking about how much jewelry you will require for each holiday as bound to get rid of most guys. Be sure to mention it must be gold.
• Start making your wedding plans on the first date. Go down a long list of everyone that should be invited. It will also help if you talk about how you already own your wedding dress.
• If your date is a real grump, you can start to compare him to your angry ex-boyfriend. You should also tell him how your ex-boyfriend will be getting out of prison anyday now.
• Make up a good story about how you were born with a tail, but it was surgically removed. Tell him you think maybe that means you are part monkey.
• If you are a loud burper, make sure to belt a few out. Always remember that more soda can only help assist with that process.
• Chew with your mouth open the entire date.
• Text message your friends throughout the whole date. You might even want to take a photo of your date to send to your friends. Make sure to let him know your friends are interested in dating him if things don't work out.
• If all else fails, pretend to fall asleep on the date. Eventually he is bound to leave when you don't wake up for a long time.